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Jim Hudson
Posted 2010-01-03 2:37 AM (#23124 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


100010010010
Location: Rocking In The Florida Dark !
Oh Limes - Goodness sake -- am I busted?????? WOW -Really not typical for me. and that is the truth.-- I could try and say a code , not enough 1's and 0's for logic. but I Promissed a Friend! on here that I wouldnt do parting anymore , I didnt lie to her , but decieded to have one last go at it with some friends New years party vacation. Wow Its apparent I cant keep up with them any more -- well a good thing as I feel so much better , stronger and healthier than before . -- besides It apparently -- kinda lost it for me ---- OOOppppss. Ok There jim Behave yourself and all will be ok ? If thats what dementia becomes that would be scarry!

Edited by Jim Hudson 2010-01-03 2:50 AM
Jim Hudson
Posted 2010-01-03 3:56 AM (#23125 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


100010010010
Location: Rocking In The Florida Dark !
Oh Yesssss--- Limes - apparently slipping from good behavior after three months of no parting or so doesnt pay -- Guess Its good I wasnt talking to a cop on the side of the road Hummmm ??? nothing then Three serious substances in one night = No=No=No or =-- The Big House for Jim -- ---- WOW -- I didnt know I could even do that and stand erect. and yet it was such a great party ! Sky was the limit on that one - but my word is given ! to her and you and most important myself --no more --sure seemed fun at the time. Life and careers more importan ( doing my Kieth Richards Improv). HEALTH IS BETTER ! - Good lesson from a Friend? she did have my best interest in mind -- Ill have to stick to that.

Edited by Jim Hudson 2010-01-03 3:58 AM
Jim Hudson
Posted 2010-01-05 12:23 AM (#23150 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: SMF Friends -- The Ultimate ! .
Quote Reply


100010010010
Location: Rocking In The Florida Dark !
Limes Your such a sweet heart -- yes I promissed another peep on the board "I so care for" -- You know who you are! ---- and I am sinceare! I would behave myself premanently as for " having a good time -- sort of like the Ol bar days'a -- "wow " -- Still alive -- was that a good lesson of how to drive far safely Its amassing to me the bar days tought me well . - In my case the least of it "Hey Im alive " Driving wasnt the hazzard - staying alive with no tollarence was.I was scared - at this reality -wow ! -believe it or not under adverse conditions to say the least ." But It became nessasarry for my health in life -- Yikes I had no Idea how much you could risk your life having fun physically doing this (Tolerences to things drop fast) WOW - very dangerous if you misjudge this one . - Hopefully business possibilities will forgive Jims last hang it loose lesson in life -- compassion can bring you back ten fold of making serious endeavors mean something. Now I just pray for forgivness- and believe me have learned my lessons well.I so hope in life my SMF and friends in life will stay with me . Life with no famally is scarry to me -- but forget all that -- Hey tiss the season to be jolly -- and this year is going to be a winner ! -- Lets go for it ! My home is here -- With my true SMF friends ! My new years resolution is Behave myself -- a done deal and is to be best friends with you all -- That would make me happy beyond the ultimate reality!

Edited by Jim Hudson 2010-01-05 12:53 AM
SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-23 5:43 PM (#23473 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.


An 80-year-old Scotsman goes to the doctor for a checkup.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

'I'm Scottish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and all is well.'

'Well,' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it.

'How old was your Dad when he died?'

'Who said my Dad's dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 100 years old,' says the old Scottish golfer. 'In fact he golfed wi' me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had anither wee dram and that's why he's still alive. He's Scottish and he's a golfer, too.'

'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's dad? How old was he when he died?'

'Who said my granddad's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

'He's 118 years old,' says the old Scottish golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'

'No. Granddad couldnae go this mornin' because he's getting married today.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married?? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'

hehehe...

SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-23 5:45 PM (#23474 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.

A wife says to her husband, "What would you do if I won the Lotto?"

He says, "I'd take half, then leave you."

"Excellent," she replies, "I just won 12 bucks, here's $6 - now get the hell out."

SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-23 6:24 PM (#23478 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.

how to spot the TALIBAN......



"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

Photobucket



1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

11. your cousin is president of the United States


SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-23 6:25 PM (#23479 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.

Photobucket
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product. Ice Cream even better - everything Cow eats in one package!

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. All people who don't drink unhappy - happy people live longer so drink more. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. More people killed running on street than lying on couch. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: What about food additives?
A: You want to complain about something for free? If it added - must be better - like fuel additive!
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"



AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-23 6:27 PM (#23480 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.


For animal lovers...so cute!!! I wanna go there! Wuff wuff!
http://www.petcentric.com/Theater/Video/Snouts-in-Your-Town-Dog-Bark-Inn.aspx?videoid=57081221001&pctvsid=76e0781b-2f76-47ee-9786-0eeebe5f3033&DCMP=EMC-PETC-PETC-Jan10_2



Edited by SMF Cyndi 2010-01-23 6:27 PM
SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-28 1:20 AM (#23541 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: RE: Bored...
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.

PREGNANT AT 61

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she
burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor
was writing on his clipboard.

"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry is
61 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,

"Does she still have the hiccups?
SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-01-28 1:25 AM (#23542 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: ----changed my mind...LOL..----
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.


Edited by SMF Cyndi 2010-01-28 1:26 AM
eoineo
Posted 2010-01-28 3:21 AM (#23543 - in reply to #23542)
Subject: RE: ----changed my mind...LOL..----
Quote Reply
Extreme SMF

Posts: 124
1001010
Location: Dublin
Aaah go on Cyndi - we can take it! Put a "for those easily offended - look away now" warning on it
LIMES
Posted 2010-03-03 7:21 PM (#23908 - in reply to #23543)
Subject: RE: ----chinese wedding night...LOL..----
Quote Reply


10010050
A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten.. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her..

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her, 'You want... Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?"
Jim Hudson
Posted 2010-03-03 11:47 PM (#23917 - in reply to #22755)
Subject: Bored...not anymore for me !
Quote Reply


100010010010
Location: Rocking In The Florida Dark !
WOW Limes -- Awesome to see you back ! -- OMG -- Im sure you know we as men Try ( well most of us) Like hell to please our women ( providing we have one) --And while I love your stories and jokes ( I really REALLY do! ) -- It rings such a true bell-OMG -- we try so hard , we really do! LMAO -- While 100% true -- Oh my gosh It isnt allways easy -- You women are just soooooo- Sexy !( speaking for myself anyway ) To me Its harder than most women realize ! -- For me sometimes I have to try and distract my thoughts to accomplish that --You know try and think about a car for a second or two or something in the midst --
And yes if peeps are clean 69 with women - Rocks -- I Llke it with women ! ( god had that one right) -- I even like the taste -- Hopefully not to much Info ! -- You Rock Limes -- 100% ! What a awesome gift in life -- SEX ! -- To me the best Free bee there is !

-------
And while I definately write to much ( want to Chill a little)-- Its the slamboard -- addicting in it self ! --Especially with such awesome writers!


Edited by Jim Hudson 2010-03-04 12:15 AM
Jim Hudson
Posted 2010-03-04 12:26 AM (#23918 - in reply to #23479)
Subject: Thats the Idea!
Quote Reply


100010010010
Location: Rocking In The Florida Dark !
{ From Cyndi} Previous ----

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
-----------
Reply from Jim ---

Right On Cyndi ! -- I love it !


Edited by Jim Hudson 2010-03-04 12:31 AM
SMF Cyndi
Posted 2010-03-05 4:07 AM (#23923 - in reply to #23908)
Subject: RE: ----chinese wedding night...LOL..----
Quote Reply


20005001001001001005010
Location: Graveyard BLVD.
RE>>>'You want... Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?"

LMAO! Limey, that was really funny! No other "TMI GROSS" comments needed, right?

LIMES - 2010-03-03 2:21 PM

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten.. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her..

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her, 'You want... Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?"
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