HERE'S A LINK TO HELP YOU GET IT CUT...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUDTlvagjJA

HERE'S ANOTHER JOKE..

Curing a Cough

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once." "Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."

The smaller croc turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me?

We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.
'

'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.


'Hmm.
Well, where do you catch them?'

'Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.
'

'Same here. Hmm.
How do you catch them?'

'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door.
Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the crap out of them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem.

You're not getting any real nourishment.

See, by the time you finish shaking the crap out of a Politician,

there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.

I couldn't resist adding that one!-keep smiling!...from your local friendly 'Bloody limey!'

Hey MP! welcome back! where ya been my mean machine?!!!

 we'll have to  have pix of you with your hair - before and after! LMAO!